Top Ten Signs You're Golfing Too Much

1. When you pick up something off the floor, you have to lean on your putter
2. The only number on your speed dial is 1-800-TEETIME.
3. You have your priorities in order: food, shelter, greens fees, job.
4. You dream you go to prison but still get conjugal visits with your driver.
5. You tell the lost motorist that the gas station is only a par 4 away on the left.
6. You'd like to take off your glove but hey, why bother?
7. Whenever you see a hole in the ground, you squat, squint and read the line.
8. You're vaguely aware of living with a woman, allegedly your wife
9. You ask the shopper ahead in the checkout line if you can play through.
10. Before you pick up the salt shaker, you mark its position with a dime.